tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36046664534235237432012-02-16T15:04:40.549-08:00afartynoreply@blogger.comBlogger101100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-20943585106720169152008-07-07T06:08:00.000-07:002008-07-07T06:34:24.596-07:00am i such an idiot that i will be a burden to anyone? i can do the same as i did b4. i helped her in many ways and i do not claim credit, and i enjoy seeing her succeed in her work. i thought she understand, and even if she doesn't, she will appreciate. but i am wrong.<br /><br />there's nothing wrong with yearning for bigger and better things. but at the expense of someone whom helped, quarreled and shared the same struggle to a better life with her?<br /><br />isn't she behaving like him who left her cos he wanted better?<br /><br />things are very simple sometimes. but why must it be a either-or? my heart is deeply cut.<br /><br />i love you, i shall let you go.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-2094358510672016915?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-61951970022680822672008-06-28T23:29:00.000-07:002008-06-28T23:34:17.697-07:00dun noe wat to say it .... cannot say i dun expect it, as i noe it's one of the way it can turn out to be. yearning for a high life and the pinacle of social living...<br /><br />my stomach is aching and my heart is worse ....<br /><br />"i need someone who can bring me to another level and give me encouragement" thanks ....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-6195197002268082267?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-7829745495851989492008-04-30T21:36:00.000-07:002008-04-30T21:38:04.893-07:00Is it may day for me? She is not even visiting here, not even once...<br /><br />i hate my current work.<br /><br />i wish she knows i miss her alot.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-782974549585198949?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-46389988316380611552008-04-11T19:34:00.000-07:002008-04-11T19:35:24.802-07:00sunny 12/04/08<br /><br />another day of unanswered call. :(<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-4638998831638061155?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-6884517149628877202008-04-10T03:44:00.000-07:002008-04-10T03:47:08.506-07:0010/04/2008 - rain<br /><br />it's been more than 2 weeks of silence. wonder how is she? been to bangkok and back, and yesterday was my last day.<br /><br />calls made left unanswered, dun dare to call too much. i am actually a harmless person, why?<br /><br /> i am willing to talk and communicate :(<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-688451714962887720?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-83633642206474371292007-11-13T03:33:00.000-08:002007-11-13T03:40:13.016-08:00really funny, really helpless... just when i thought we can go out and spend some time together... she just totally switched off and had her own activities for 1 week le... the reason? cos i didn't call/msn her on monday night... i was working till 3 am on sunday night and we went out in the day... on tuesday i called her, but she was already no mood to talk liao which i tot she's busy. on wed, which was a holiday eve, i called her and she was with her friends.<br /><br />so i said i go out with her on thursday. i msned her and she said she got appt le made sometime ago le. fine, so i said we met later lor. supposedly at 6pm but she said cancelled as her friend wana meet longer... so cancelled again. evening she called and asked if wana meet, i already no mood to meet le.<br /><br />then during weekend, i tot we could meet. who knows she went out on both days. so i stayed at home and did my stuff.<br /><br />i really wondered what went wrong? couldn't we communicate instead of just be irresponsible and leave me alone? i am so stressed with work , and when i tot i could talk to someone, there she went disappearing. before i could vent out my stress, i had to hide it and totally depressed. does she know that i am trying very hard le, but why she could just disappear like that?<br /><br />i really duno......<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-8363364220647437129?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-68242948811285979902007-07-13T06:44:00.000-07:002007-07-13T06:53:48.500-07:00home.night.21:53pm.tired<br /><br /><br />i finally called her at her home at 7pm.. her voice was different yet so familiar.. two weeks seem like two years, kinda cold but the moment i heard her voice, my heart really skipped a bit and two...<br /><br />i was afraid to make her angry again, but i have to tell her what i said, if not i duno when will be the next time i can talk to her le .... she was hungry, i stopped talking to her le ... i cannot never bear to see her hungry.<br /><br />i sent her an sms last night, but no replies.<br /><br />today is another night.. i dun think i should disturb her ba..<br /><br />wan an<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-6824294881128597990?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-63731626250091961282007-07-11T22:03:00.000-07:002007-07-11T22:05:11.784-07:00home.sunny.13:10pm.helpless<br /><br />another day le... still no sms or calls returned. what is she doing? being busy? or she is avoiding me? i duno .... i would never find out soon ....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-6373162625009196128?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-4087022550530432962007-07-11T08:20:00.000-07:002008-04-10T03:48:29.014-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_86AbhnMTCVs/RpT3Xw3qdtI/AAAAAAAAAAM/BwXcA4v-80s/s1600-h/el+Mosaic.BMP"><br /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-408702255053043296?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3604666453423523743.post-39196938017369578762007-07-10T21:38:00.000-07:002007-07-10T21:49:43.427-07:00home.drizzling.12:49pm.depressed<br /><br />it's been 2 weeks since we talked. it's also the 2nd week of my new job. is it a coincidence, or i cannot have the best of both world?<br /><br />work is busy and being occupied with learning and doing some really no value-add stuff. i am putting a false front in work trying to be cool. But deep inside, i really wan to tell somebody about my work, my experience, and most importantly .. my feelings.<br /><br />life without her has been a mess. i have been supressing my feelings. i thought i could live with it for the first 5 days. But I could no longer lie to myself. I could not fight the urge to sms or call her. but she didn't pick up nor acknowledge.<br /><br />we are no saints. we have tempers and we have been through roller coasters affecting both of us. no matter what she did wrong, or how bad her temper is, i still love her. each time after a quarrel, i always hate myself asking why i couldn't give in to her. each time, it's too late. she's very lovable and a gem to me.<br /><br />many times, what i did or said, do not reflect a complete picture of my feelings, thus leading to many misunderstandings. i do not blame her. i do not speak well.<br /><br />i really hope things would be well for us. i really miss you.<br /><br />it's lunchtime and i have not been eating well for 1 week. maybe (ci) really helps.<br /><br />i hope some one sees this blog; i hope no one sees this blog....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3604666453423523743-3919693801736957876?l=stinkyfruit.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>afartynoreply@blogger.com0