小情歌

really funny, really helpless... just when i thought we can go out and spend some time together... she just totally switched off and had her own activities for 1 week le... the reason? cos i didn't call/msn her on monday night... i was working till 3 am on sunday night and we went out in the day... on tuesday i called her, but she was already no mood to talk liao which i tot she's busy. on wed, which was a holiday eve, i called her and she was with her friends.

so i said i go out with her on thursday. i msned her and she said she got appt le made sometime ago le. fine, so i said we met later lor. supposedly at 6pm but she said cancelled as her friend wana meet longer... so cancelled again. evening she called and asked if wana meet, i already no mood to meet le.

then during weekend, i tot we could meet. who knows she went out on both days. so i stayed at home and did my stuff.

i really wondered what went wrong? couldn't we communicate instead of just be irresponsible and leave me alone? i am so stressed with work , and when i tot i could talk to someone, there she went disappearing. before i could vent out my stress, i had to hide it and totally depressed. does she know that i am trying very hard le, but why she could just disappear like that?

i really duno......

happily sad

home.night.21:53pm.tired


i finally called her at her home at 7pm.. her voice was different yet so familiar.. two weeks seem like two years, kinda cold but the moment i heard her voice, my heart really skipped a bit and two...

i was afraid to make her angry again, but i have to tell her what i said, if not i duno when will be the next time i can talk to her le .... she was hungry, i stopped talking to her le ... i cannot never bear to see her hungry.

i sent her an sms last night, but no replies.

today is another night.. i dun think i should disturb her ba..

wan an

help...

home.sunny.13:10pm.helpless

another day le... still no sms or calls returned. what is she doing? being busy? or she is avoiding me? i duno .... i would never find out soon ....

feel like shit

home.drizzling.12:49pm.depressed

it's been 2 weeks since we talked. it's also the 2nd week of my new job. is it a coincidence, or i cannot have the best of both world?

work is busy and being occupied with learning and doing some really no value-add stuff. i am putting a false front in work trying to be cool. But deep inside, i really wan to tell somebody about my work, my experience, and most importantly .. my feelings.

life without her has been a mess. i have been supressing my feelings. i thought i could live with it for the first 5 days. But I could no longer lie to myself. I could not fight the urge to sms or call her. but she didn't pick up nor acknowledge.

we are no saints. we have tempers and we have been through roller coasters affecting both of us. no matter what she did wrong, or how bad her temper is, i still love her. each time after a quarrel, i always hate myself asking why i couldn't give in to her. each time, it's too late. she's very lovable and a gem to me.

many times, what i did or said, do not reflect a complete picture of my feelings, thus leading to many misunderstandings. i do not blame her. i do not speak well.

i really hope things would be well for us. i really miss you.

it's lunchtime and i have not been eating well for 1 week. maybe (ci) really helps.

i hope some one sees this blog; i hope no one sees this blog....